Thursday, May 24, 2012


A little more than three weeks ago I was cheerfully playing computer games working hard when the husband turned up at the front door. At 10 am. He was laid off. WHAMMO!

 It was a shock at first, but also it was kind of fun. We went on picnics, slept late. We took turns using key word searches on Craigslist. He applied for jobs, and so did I. Something better would come along.

 Then Big State Health Insurance sent us a letter- CANCELLED unless you pay a million dollars for COBRA. I figured we could keep them, and just negotiate for less coverage with a lower premium. Wrong! They are completely inflexible. It's all or nothing. SOOOOO frustrating! I guess it will have to be nothing, but I am looking into alternatives. I'm not young any more, but still too far from Medicare to feel safe going without anything. Plus I have three dependents. And a long list of middle-aged pre-existing conditions.

 Time passed, and nothing happened job-wise. Absolutely. Nothing. I began to pull out some old and very dusty HATS. Hats so old that I kind of hoped that I could have left them in the attic forever. Long ago, before children, before marriage, before knitting and Sara's Colorwave Yarns, I was a Geology professor at the local college. It was a fun career, and I enjoyed it very much. When the marriage came along, followed quickly by three babies in five years, I knew it was time to change to a new career: Mommy At Home. I don't regret it for a minute! It was certainly less lucrative, but far more rewarding. Two of those three babies are going to be in college this fall. I had hoped to wait to send the youngest one off before I began work again, but I'm afraid it is not to be.

Now there are so many questions:

 1. If I get full time work in my field, it will very likely mean moving to a different city or state. Is this worth losing the in-state-residency college scholarship for child #2? Is this worth uprooting child #3 from his (excellent local) high school and putting him in a possibly sub-standard one somewhere else?

 2. If I do #1, will my not-very-flexible and genius-but-socially-awkward child #3 ever get over it?

3. Can I even do #1? Will anyone even hire a middle-aged woman whose knowledge of the field is 20 years out of date?

 4. If I get full time work in my field, will my husband feel like a failure?

 5. If I get local part time work doing anything, can we survive?

 6. If I get local part time work doing something menial, will I feel like a failure? Should I do it anyway?

 7. Can I ever get health insurance again? Do I ever WANT health insurance again? Dealing with health insurance is right up there with getting a root canal, or worse.

8. Will I have to give up Sara's Colorwave Yarns? The horse? Knitting?

Stay posted!




  1. Sara, I will be praying for you!! It's hard to grasp sometimes, but God has all of the answers to your questions and His hands are holding you tightly. I know He will provide, I've seen how limitless His grace is and how much He truly and deeply loves us. There is a verse in Zephaniah which I have made into a little song I have sung to myself on rough days. I first underlined it in April 1981. It's a strong verse to hold onto.

    Zephaniah 3: 17: "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

    He has often quieted me with His love and to think that the creator of the universe rejoices over me with singing is tremendous.

    He will do the same for you and your family.

    Much love and prayer,
    Becky Cook

    1. Thanks so much for the reminder Becky! -Sara

  2. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers Sara. My heart just ached when I read your blog. Thank you for your willingness to be so transparent. It seems like the longer we walk this walk of faith, the more we realize just how much of our lives are spent waiting upon the Lord for His provision. There is no doubt in my mind that as you rest IN HIM, He will provide and lead you down the path of His choosing. You are His child and He has promised to do so. As your mind is stayed on Him, He will keep you in perfect peace. No matter what, don't forget that He is a good God and that these momentary light afflictions are for your sanctification and for His glory. I remind myself often......His glory is the point of life....the very reason I was created. It's not about me.

    Sara, let His joy be your strength. Cast your cares on Him for cares deeply for you. Let Him be your treasure, your ALL in all. Keep your heart humble, teachable and receptive. He will make your path clear and He will guide your future. He loves you with an everlasting love more than you can ever fathom!

    Much love in Christ,